The world around her was black. Daria got up and tried to reorientate herself in the darkness. She failed miserably. Today was definitely not going well.

Suddenly there was a flash of white and she found herself in an almost Disney looking forest.

"Where the hell am I?" She asked to anyone who might be listening. As she began to look around, she noticed that that the feel of her clothes seemed different. Daria looked at her reflection in an almost mirror-like pool under a smooth reddish-brown tree. She was shocked to see that her jacket was replaced by a forest green tunic and a par of worn leather leggings had replaced her favorite boots. "The day just keeps getting weirder and weirder." Tucked in her belt was a 3 foot sword with an odd triangle motif on the hilt.

She drew the blade and held it up to the nonlight. "How much you want bet this sword is magical," she mused to herself.

Shrugging, she trudged off into the forest.

And then there was blackness once again.

"fuck.fuck.fuck. FUCK !" Daria barley dodged the barrel hurled at her from nowhere, still wincing from the first one that smacked her in the shoulder.

"ook ook!"

"Argh!"

"Okay, Now THIS is pushing it!" Daria looked down at the skintight outfit she now wore. A bruise had formed on her now exposed shoulder.

She glanced at the blood-spattered walls that surrounded her. "Hmm, I think I'm beginning to see a pattern emerging here. And judging from the surroundings this could only mean one thing."

Her suspicions were answered by an angry war cry from the other side of the bloodstained room, where a ninja looking guy in a yellow and black outfit began to rush towards her.

"Well this oughta be fun"

She jumped instinctively, and was surprised to see herself 7 feet in the air, for over the head of her confused attacker.

"Hmm, Maybe this won't be so bad after all."

She landed on the far corner of the room and decided to experiment a bit. She locked her wrists together and reached out her arms in the direction of the yellow ninja, 'Scorpion' a voice in the back of her head told her. She closed her eves in anticipation of the blast and

Nothing happened.

She opened her eyes. Scorpion was preparing for another attack. She tried it again. It was a position seen in arcades across the globe. "mm, must be some sort of trick to it." She tried snapping her fingers.

Not a spark.

Scorpion was about three feet away.

Daria was starting to get mad, "Come on you stupid fireball, I know your in there. I've these stupid fighting games millions of times before and now that I'm actually in one why can't I BLAST ONE FRIKKEN FIREBALL?!!"

A furnace of light engulfed the arena, like a Japanese anima with the cartoonists on speed. When the blaze passed, Scorpion was doubled over in the center of the Arena.

Daria smirked, "Much better."

'FINISH HIM FINISH HIM' the voice intoned. Daria shrugged and walked over to the bloody mess. She gave him a solid kick in the family jewels with her steel toes, and Scorpion dropped to the ground in a tight ball.

At a glance, it looked like Daria was back in that fantasy game again, but something was different. For one thing, the backpack she now wore was filled with funny little red and white balls, and secondly there were funny little blue things hoping around all over the place. Ho boy, she thought, THIS should be interesting. She saw a couple of buildings in the distance.

"Well, I guess it's time to meet the natives."

She came up to a door that said 'Prof. Oak' on the placard. It was answered by a balding man in is mid50s who wearing a white lab coat.

"Professor Oak?"

"I am he."

Daria thought fast. "Um, I'm in trouble and a friend of mine said you could help."

"A friend?"

'What was the name of that stupid character? Pouncer? No. nabbem? Crotchet? Catchem? Catchem, that's it.

"Bass Catchem, Sir." Professor Oak looked a bit unsure. "Ash, I meant! Sorry I stuttered."

"Well a friend of Ash is a friend of mine, come on in."

Daria took in here surroundings: Tables covered with papers and various gizmos dominated the middle of the room while the far wall was lined with various sized cages molding more of the funny looking beasts. In the corner, a computer terminal was set up. Daria brightened up 'Maybe I could use it to contact Jane.'

"Professor, do you have Internet access?"

"Yes, of coarse, but how could that help?"

"A friend of mine in the Animal Village was having trouble with her Chiggerpup, and I need to send her some information as soon as possible."

"A Chiggerpup?"

"yah, She found it in the Magic Kingdom. I'm told it's quite rare."

"They must be, but go ahead it's set up over there."

Daria preyed that it wasn't all in Japanese.

"Well I sent the message so now what? Do I wait?" Daria pondered. She decided probably a bad idea. The things in the cages were making her nervous, and who knows what Professor Oak would do if he found out the truth, what ever that was. But before she left there was one thing she had to ask.

"Professor Oak?"

"Yes?"

"You’re a fairly good r--- in Pokemon research, right?"

"One of the best in the field, my girl."

"Uh huh. So how come they're all so submissive towards humans?"

"eh?"

"What I mean is, If I had the destructive power of a dozen tanks then there is no way I would put up with being shoved into a tiny ball, then coming out on command to fight someone else's battles. "

"em, I'm not quite sure I follow you. What's a tank?"

"Nevermind."

Daria guessed that she was about half a mile from Prof. Oak's lab. It was a surprisingly easy walk threw the woods. This was the most level non-paved area she had ever seen.

Suddenly she heard a noise coming from under a bush.

"jigglypuff?'

"What the hell!?"

"Puff! puff." A small pink marshmallow looking thing had hopped onto a near by rock. It had what looked like a microphone in it's uh, paw.

"So um, what exactly are you?"

"Jigglypuff!"

"Yah, I guess that is kinda self explanatory. So then what are you doing on that rock?"

The marshmallow made a sound that reminded Daria of a certain cheerleader back in Lawndale. Then, all of the sudden, it started to sing.

It was a haunting melody.

"Now hold on one secon-"

and within moments, Daria was asleep.

Daria dreamed that she was at sea. The waves crashed against the hall of here small craft rocking it back and forth.

It would have been peaceful if it wasn't making her seasick. Eventually it dawned on her that you couldn't get seasick if you were asleep. Grudgingly she opened her eyes. Before her was a control panel covered with dials and readouts. In the center were two large buttons labeled [<] and [>]. She looked out the window and saw rows and rows of grey bricks and a white ball flying away from her.

"Oh, wonderful," she said out loud, "a puzzle game."

The ball richequeted off half a dozen bricks, causing them to disappear, and reversed directions heading back toward daria. It occurred to her that she should probably to intercept it, so she hit the button pointing in the direction of the ball and braced herself for impact.

Surprisingly there was only a slight vibration when the ball hit the hull. She hit the other button and her body jerked away as the craft zoomed sideways.

Two more blocks disappeared. Poing!

It was like some sort of one-dimensional bumper cars. If only it were Quinn's head out there, she smirked at the thought. She could then picture Upchuck's giant disembodied head being smacked repeatedly with tiny white balls. Damn this place was making her think like Jane.

Daria starred down at the worn leather jacket she now had on in abject disgust.

"SOMEONE ACTUALLY MADE A GAME BASED IN HIGHLAND!"

She wanted out now. Pokeball Land and skimpy outfits were one thing but this was definitely the last straw.

And then she saw Them.

"heh heh, check it out Butthead! It's Diarrhea! heh, Yeah!"

"Come on buttmunch, we have to break Todd out of jail."

"Oh yeah, heheh, Hey maybe she's got a quarter."

"uh, Let's ask. huh huh."

Daria was desperate. She noticed a storefront across the street playing 'Wizard of Oz in the Window'. It was at one of the final scenes with Glenda the good witch of the north. "Why Dorothy, you had the power to leave the whole time. All you have to do is wish it."

"huh huh, Hey Diarrhea!"

Daria definitely wished it. "When in Hell," she muttered. She clicked her heels madly. Suddenly the world around her began to blur.

"Well I'll be damned."