By NomadX


So what do you think it is?"

"Hell if I know, it started glowing like that this morning"

Daria and Jane looked again at the eerie green light coming from the monitor of Jane's Imac.

"hmm, you sure you didn't just leave the power on last night?"

"Positive. The thing was turned off when I went to bed."

"Weird." Daria thought for a moment, " Have you tried turning it on?"

"Um, no. Wonder what would happen."

"Only one way to find out."

Jane leaned over and flipped the switch on her hard drive. They wait for a minute. A small black pinprick appeared on the monitor and slowly but steadily, it began to grow.

"hmm, Usually the thing's booted up by nooOOOW!!!"

The black dot had almost filled the screen when a purplish light shot out like a tractor beam sucking things in. Jane was almost horizontal in the air gripping her bedpost as if her life depended on it. Daria was desperately trying to keep hold of the windowpane. It wasn't going very well. Her fingers gave way and she was hurled across the room towards the computer's magnetic grasp.


Her body contorted as it was sucked into the 15" screen.

Then suddenly it all stopped. Jane's body smacked the carpet. The room was deathly silent.

"Whoa," Jane mumbled through the paint stained fibers, "ninn't zee DAT one commig!"


  Joe cursed under his breath as he got his things together. If he didn't hurry up, he would miss his bus. He grabbed a Dr. Pepper and his Game Boy case and rushed out the door.


"Um, Daria? Hello, Is there anybody in there?"

Jane tapped the now blank computer screen again.

"Uh oh."


Joe sighed in relief; he was finally on his way. He had just barely got there as the bus was pulling away. Amazingly enough the driver saw him and let him on. That had certainly never happened before. He pulled his Game Boy out of his bag and switched it on. It was a long way to the convention center.

 "Now this is odd," He said to himself as the Game Boy scrolled down the screen. The rounded square letters that he'd seen hundreds of times before were replaced by a font that looked almost hand written.

"hey, that sorta looks like the title screen for that one cartoon on Mtv," remarked the girl sitting next to him.

"Yah, kinda."

The picture changed to the title screen for Zelda: Link's Awakening. At least that looked normal enough.


The world around her was black. Daria got up and tried to reorientate herself in the darkness. She failed miserably. Today was definitely not going well.

Suddenly there was a flash of white and she found herself in an almost Disney looking forest.

"Where the hell am I?" She asked to anyone who might be listening. As she began to look around, she noticed that that the feel of her clothes seemed different. Daria looked at her reflection in an almost mirror-like pool under a smooth reddish-brown tree. She was shocked to see that her jacket was replaced by a forest green tunic and a par of worn leather leggings had replaced her favorite boots. "The day just keeps getting weirder and weirder." Tucked in her belt was a 3 foot sword with an odd triangle motif on the hilt.

She drew the blade and held it up to the nonlight. "How much you want bet this sword is magical," she mused to herself.

Shrugging, she trudged off into the forest.

And then there was blackness once again.


"You know, I am just not in the mood for Zelda." Joe said to himself. He rooted around his bag for some other cartridges. He pulled out one with the label worn off and the words 'Donkey Kong' written in black ink.

"Hmm, I hope this is the new one."


"fuck.fuck.fuck. FUCK !" Daria barley dodged the barrel hurled at her from nowhere, still wincing from the first one that smacked her in the shoulder.

"ook ook!"



Joe turned the machine off again.

"Mmm, guess not."

He pulled out another game, Mortal Kombat.


"Okay, Now THIS is pushing it!" Daria looked down at the skintight outfit she now wore. A bruise had formed on her now exposed shoulder.

She glanced at the blood-spattered walls that surrounded her. "Hmm, I think I'm beginning to see a pattern emerging here. And judging from the surroundings this could only mean one thing."

Her suspicions were answered by an angry war cry from the other side of the bloodstained room, where a ninja looking guy in a yellow and black outfit began to rush towards her.

"Well this oughta be fun"

She jumped instinctively, and was surprised to see herself 7 feet in the air, for over the head of her confused attacker.

"Hmm, Maybe this won't be so bad after all."

She landed on the far corner of the room and decided to experiment a bit. She locked her wrists together and reached out her arms in the direction of the yellow ninja, 'Scorpion' a voice in the back of her head told her. She closed her eves in anticipation of the blast and

Nothing happened.

She opened her eyes. Scorpion was preparing for another attack. She tried it again. It was a position seen in arcades across the globe. "mm, must be some sort of trick to it." She tried snapping her fingers.

Not a spark.

Scorpion was about three feet away.

Daria was starting to get mad, "Come on you stupid fireball, I know your in there. I've these stupid fighting games millions of times before and now that I'm actually in one why can't I BLAST ONE FRIKKEN FIREBALL?!!"

A furnace of light engulfed the arena, like a Japanese anima with the cartoonists on speed. When the blaze passed, Scorpion was doubled over in the center of the Arena.

Daria smirked, "Much better."

'FINISH HIM FINISH HIM' the voice intoned. Daria shrugged and walked over to the bloody mess. She gave him a solid kick in the family jewels with her steel toes, and Scorpion dropped to the ground in a tight ball.


"You know, it's just not the same on such a small screen." Joe turned off the game and looked out the window. Miles of endless suberbia raced past his view. He sighed in boredom and disgust and rooted around in his bag to see what else he could find.


Jane was frantic. How the hell she going to get Daria back? For that matter, where did Daria go? And more importantly, why didn't she have the foresight to have a camcorder running? argh, she could kick herself. Stuff like a lazerlight show sucking her best friend into her computer DEFINATLY does not happen every day.

Oh CRAP! What if Helen finds out!


Joe was about half way threw 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' when the little girl next to nudged his arm.

"Hey mister, mind if I use your Game Boy for awhile?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Happily the girl grabbed the Game Boy and popped in a blue cartridge she had in her pocket.


At a glance, it looked like Daria was back in that fantasy game again, but something was different. For one thing, the backpack she now wore was filled with funny little red and white balls, and secondly there were funny little blue things hoping around all over the place. Ho boy, she thought, THIS should be interesting. She saw a couple of buildings in the distance.

"Well, I guess it's time to meet the natives."


By now, Jane was thinking a bit clearer. The first thing she decided to do was tell Trent, if nothing else he could provide moral support.

"So, Daria is in your computer?"

He was taking this surprisingly well. Jane figured that one foot permanently in Dreamland probably helped somewhat.

"Have you tried looking for her?"

Jane glared at him, "and just how am I supposed to do that?"

"Well, If she's on your computer couldn't you use one those file search engine thingies?"

Jane inwardly smacked herself. Why hadn't she thought of that? You had to hand it to Trent, sometimes he could be amazingly perceptive.

So there she was. The computer booted up normally enough. After about half a minute Jane had found a hidden file of full of romantic poetry she didn't know she had. After reading a few of them, she would definitely have to ask Daria about it. 'If I ever see Daria again that is,' Jane suddenly thought dejectedly. She stopped reading the verses for a moment to check her results again.


She came up to a door that said 'Prof. Oak' on the placard. It was answered by a balding man in is mid50s who wearing a white lab coat.

"Professor Oak?"

"I am he."

Daria thought fast. "Um, I'm in trouble and a friend of mine said you could help."

"A friend?"

'What was the name of that stupid character? Pouncer? No. nabbem? Crotchet? Catchem? Catchem, that's it.

"Bass Catchem, Sir." Professor Oak looked a bit unsure. "Ash, I meant! Sorry I stuttered."

"Well a friend of Ash is a friend of mine, come on in."

Daria took in here surroundings: Tables covered with papers and various gizmos dominated the middle of the room while the far wall was lined with various sized cages molding more of the funny looking beasts. In the corner, a computer terminal was set up. Daria brightened up 'Maybe I could use it to contact Jane.'

"Professor, do you have Internet access?"

"Yes, of coarse, but how could that help?"

"A friend of mine in the Animal Village was having trouble with her Chiggerpup, and I need to send her some information as soon as possible."

"A Chiggerpup?"

"yah, She found it in the Magic Kingdom. I'm told it's quite rare."

"They must be, but go ahead it's set up over there."

Daria preyed that it wasn't all in Japanese.


"HEY HEY HEY!" bellowed Fat Albert from the computer speakers.

"eh?" Jane clicked on the new message icon.




subject: GET ME OUT OF HERE!!

Jane this is Daria. I'm trapped in a game Boy. This is not a Joke! Don't ask me how or why I got in here, but I need your help to escape. I don't know how many more of these games I can take. I'll definitely never look at Mario the same way again.

Help me Jane Lane you're my only hope. After all, it was your computer that got me into this mess in the first place :P



"Now how the hell did she pull that one off, and who is this ProfOak? Oh well it's something else to search for at least."

As she closed the window, Jane noticed another blinking icon on her desktop. FunBoy, her Game Boy emulator was apparently active when she brought it up, all that appeared was a black box with the words 'NETWORK PLAY RUNNING' in lime green.

"What is going on with my computer?"


"Well I sent the message so now what? Do I wait?" Daria pondered. She decided probably a bad idea. The things in the cages were making her nervous, and who knows what Professor Oak would do if he found out the truth, what ever that was. But before she left there was one thing she had to ask.

"Professor Oak?"


"Youre a fairly good r--- in Pokemon research, right?"

"One of the best in the field, my girl."

"Uh huh. So how come they're all so submissive towards humans?"


"What I mean is, If I had the destructive power of a dozen tanks then there is no way I would put up with being shoved into a tiny ball, then coming out on command to fight someone else's battles. "

"em, I'm not quite sure I follow you. What's a tank?"



Joe watched the girl with mild amusement. She and a friend had pulled out a link cable and were engaged in some sort of two player Pokemon battle. He had never really saw the appeal in the game, but to each their own.


Daria guessed that she was about half a mile from Prof. Oak's lab. It was a surprisingly easy walk threw the woods. This was the most level non-paved area she had ever seen.

Suddenly she heard a noise coming from under a bush.


"What the hell!?"

"Puff! puff." A small pink marshmallow looking thing had hopped onto a near by rock. It had what looked like a microphone in it's uh, paw.

"So um, what exactly are you?"


"Yah, I guess that is kinda self explanatory. So then what are you doing on that rock?"

The marshmallow made a sound that reminded Daria of a certain cheerleader back in Lawndale. Then, all of the sudden, it started to sing.

Jiiigaliiipuuff jigaalpuuffff

It was a haunting melody.

"Now hold on one secon-"

and within moments, Daria was asleep.


The girl had gotten off at the last stop, giving Joe control of his Game Boy once again. He found a few more cartridges in the bottom of his bag, and popped one in.


Daria dreamed that she was at sea. The waves crashed against the hall of here small craft rocking it back and forth.

It would have been peaceful if it wasn't making her seasick. Eventually it dawned on her that you couldn't get seasick if you were asleep. Grudgingly she opened her eyes. Before her was a control panel covered with dials and readouts. In the center were two large buttons labeled [<] and [>]. She looked out the window and saw rows and rows of grey bricks and a white ball flying away from her.

"Oh, wonderful," she said out loud, "a puzzle game."

The ball richequeted off half a dozen bricks, causing them to disappear, and reversed directions heading back toward daria. It occurred to her that she should probably to intercept it, so she hit the button pointing in the direction of the ball and braced herself for impact.


Surprisingly there was only a slight vibration when the ball hit the hull. She hit the other button and her body jerked away as the craft zoomed sideways.

Two more blocks disappeared. Poing!

It was like some sort of one-dimensional bumper cars. If only it were Quinn's head out there, she smirked at the thought. She could then picture Upchuck's giant disembodied head being smacked repeatedly with tiny white balls. Damn this place was making her think like Jane.



He was only three miles away from the convention center in heavy traffic. Joe figured he had time enough for one more game.


Daria starred down at the worn leather jacket she now had on in abject disgust.


She wanted out now. Pokeball Land and skimpy outfits were one thing but this was definitely the last straw.

And then she saw Them.

"heh heh, check it out Butthead! It's Diarrhea! heh, Yeah!"

"Come on buttmunch, we have to break Todd out of jail."

"Oh yeah, heheh, Hey maybe she's got a quarter."

"uh, Let's ask. huh huh."

Daria was desperate. She noticed a storefront across the street playing 'Wizard of Oz in the Window'. It was at one of the final scenes with Glenda the good witch of the north. "Why Dorothy, you had the power to leave the whole time. All you have to do is wish it."

"huh huh, Hey Diarrhea!"

Daria definitely wished it. "When in Hell," she muttered. She clicked her heels madly. Suddenly the world around her began to blur.

"Well I'll be damned."


The screen went blank.

"damn, the batteries must have died." Oh well, he was half a block away anyway.


Daria woke up to a familial cracked ceiling and breathed a sigh of relief.


Jane was waiting by the computer hoping that something would happen.

And then it did.

Bring! bring!

She picked up the phone.




"Last time I checked."

"Where the hell are you!?"

"Currently I'm staring at the familiar padded walls of my inner sanctum."

"What!? How!? I mean.."

"Settle down Lane" Daria told her the whole story.

"Wow, hell of an anticlimax."

"Your telling me. I think the guy was desperate for an ending."

"Next time we are definitely getting a better author."


"So, Pizza then the arcade?"

Daria didn't even dignify that with a response.



01.Theme - When World's Collide - Powerman 5000

02.The Light Fantastic - Silent Void - Chris Vrenn

03.Northern Hyrule - Legend of Zelda - System of a Down

04.Barrel Full of Monkeys - Tweedle Dee - Chris Vrenn

05.Blood Arena - Al Dios Alma Pardida - StaticX

06.Frantic Hopelessness - Paint It Black - Rolling Stones

07.Connection pt2 - Is There Anybody Out There? - Pink Floyd

08.Sleep / Left and Right - We Only Come Out At Night - Smashing Pumpkins

09. Highland Days - B&B Theme (Outer Limits Remix)

10. Bed (End Theme) - When Worlds Collide (DK Remix) - Powerman 5000


questions, comments, flames, statements of utter confusion?


Operators are standing bye, it only *sounds* like they're snoring


Most characters in this fic where created by someone else and then copyrighted by some faceless corporation. I have bent them to my will for my own amusement and have not received any profit whatsoever. So there is really no point in suing, Im broke anyway.

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