Dar Racer suddenly leaped out of the Dreamer 6 as it idled at the starting gate.

"Dar, I donít think you should race today. Something odd is in the air."

"Do not worry, Papa, Iím sure the little pixie gnomes will not get me today." She rolled her eyes.

"I donít know..."

Unbeknownst to them, just around the corner are menacing looking smurfs on sleek black motorcycles chatting in high-pitched voices.

"Ha ha, donít be to sure, mouthy one, ha ha, ha ha." The group continued to giggle.

Luckily, they were overheard be Racer L, who was really Darís long lost half sister. She quickly darted to the Dark Reality; a black Firebird with thin, purple flames etched on to the body, (God, I wish I had a car like that) and flipped a switch beneath the dashboard. A grayish-green mist appears and suddenly all the smurfs turn into large, red vegetables (or are they fruit?) She then made a dramatic twist of the key and slammed the accelerator, squishing them all.

Just then the Dreamer 6 rushes by and both drivers focus on the dead heat to the finish line.

---Meanwhile, cars 8 and 15 barrel over a cliff an explode---

Dar Racer and her opponent are just inches apart. A button is pushed and twin buzzsaws are launched from beneath the Dreamer 6ís hull just glancing off the Dark Realityís energy shielding.

The Dream 6 suddenly lurches forward a few inches, barely crossing the line before the Dark Reality. The car does a 180 while braking, and Janey and her space chimp Blip pop out of the trunk, do a summersault in the air, and land in gymnastís poses. Ta da!

The whole team is now standing together when out of nowhere; somebody farts. Everyone laughs heartily except for Dar, who is backing away nervously.


Cue the night as Daria wakes up with a start

"Gah, whatís wrong with my alarm clock, itís only 4AM! What a strange dream, last time I eat leftover takeout at Janeís place." She stopped and looked down at her hand. Her skin was peeling away, and the muscle tissue melting, exposing dry, cracked bone.

She silently screamed as the world around her twisted and contorted into some bizarre rendition of an Escher painting, and the padded walls began to close in......

Hello there, I would just like to say that I have no idea what that was back there, and personally,the author is scaring meTo ensure that this doesn't happen again, steps must be taken. I don't what to scare off any potentional fans

Excuse me BRROUWWROWR   ok! ok! I can take a hint! God!

More wholesome huh?

One bright, sunny day, in the Thousand Dales Wood, Brittlet and Kevin Bear were happily skipping down the trail when Brittlet had a startling revelation.

"ooh, look at the cute bunnies."

"Cool Babe, want some honey?"

Thatís not what I meant.

heh heh

anyway, the walls oozed away, Dariaís last thought was the hope that she was still dreaming.

Which of course she was.

(Pardon me for not being able to write a decent spy story)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The Second Attempt

So whatís our intrepid author up to now?

Iím not sure yet, Jane, we can only cross our fingers and hope

The "heretic" didnít know how much more of this he could take. The three horsemen had been chasing him for days. He wondered the true reason for their pursuit; it surely wasnít just that he was a Jew. Who were thy to judge the merits of his religion? Maybe they where crazy. The tall one definitely had an unhinged look in his eyes.

"I didnít expect this."

The tall man slowly turned his head to face the brown-haired teenager leaning against a tree.

"NOBODY expects the SPANISH inquiSITION!"

"Oh no," the girl put a hand to her forehead, "Trent, please deal with this."

A guitar came out from behind a bush knocking the lead inquisitor to the ground.

"This is getting ridiculous."

Do you have any better ideas?

"You could write some sappy love story where I declare my undying love for Trent, and everyone ends up in the sack"


Do you realize how many of those are out there? It would be impossible to come up with something original! Plus everybody already assumes your good in bed.

The brown-haired briefly flashes a knowing smile.

"You could always do a suicide fic."

I think most Daria fans are depressed about the world enough as it is.

"Point taken."

The man that was being chased slowly walked up to the young girl who was apparently talking to the clouds.

"Uh, is something wrong?"

* * *

Well, That was interesting.

Okay Iíve got it now.

Hey, do I get to be in this one? You did say I was your favorite character.

You know Jane, maybe he has an ulterior motive for not submitting you to this insanity

Damn, now who's the yenta?

I take it when I can get it.

Anyway, you know all those "reality" shows eating up airtime nowadays? Well Iíve got something were the players are already skilled at playing to the camera.

Welcome to

Painted World


Well that sucks. Now I lost my main character. What am I supposed to do now? To bad I lost that Daria/ Freakaziod script I was working on. Oh well

Hey, Iím still here.

Iíd rather not do that to you. Hmmm...Quinn maybe.


(An instrumental version of Pink Floyd's The trial begins to play in background )




questions, comments, flames, statements of utter confusion?



(Then again, why should I expect a response, it's not like I'm known for my raving reviews)


Most characters in this fic where created by someone else and then copyrighted by some faceless corporation. I have bent them to my will for my own amusement and have not received any profit whatsoever. So there is really no point in suing, Iím broke anyway.

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