Foolish Andrea, your powers cannot defeat me!

Hey X! Your shoe's untied!

-<THUD>-

Ah hell, Here we go again. God help us all.

"Ya Green Bay!"

"Kids, what ever you, do not go to Cleveland. Say, does anyone have a light."

"I'm sorry Mr. er Duck, but there is no smoking in the studio."

"WAUGH"

***

AAAWWK!

The buzzards slowly circled over head as the petite young pilot crawled out of the smoking core that was once her battlemech. It was another hot day in the arid wastelands of Southern California.

"At least the air's breathable here, not like that radioactive crap up north," She said to herself. Then she spotted what she was looking for, the emergency radio. She winced as she lowered herself down to the gorge it had landed on. Hopefully it still worked.

CLICK SHHHHHH

She sighed in relief.

"Hello, This is Irony calling Raven's Nest, Repeat, This is Irony calling Raven's Nest, Hello, My AC's scrapped and I am in need of assistance, Over, Hello, Hello? Is there anybody out there?"

She was suddenly aware of a large shadow looming over her.

"Aw man, how am I supposed to profess my love through music if I can't even follow a simple bass line?"

The dark-maned bass player seemed to think about this for a moment.

"You know, Trent, maybe you should just tell her."

"Man Jesse, I can't do that! You know how I get when I'm around her!"

"Ya, you like draw a Blank or something."

"Screw it, let's try playing something we know."

"FIRE!"

"FIRE! Everyone out of the school!"

The doors swung open, and the Lawndale student body, and the majority of the faculty, surged out of the building like rats leaving a doomed ship, including a pair of well known members of society.

"It's about time the school got redecorated."

"Ya, but they could have at least waited until art class ended, I was just putting the finishing touches on my latest ground breaking masterpiece."

"The one with Val impaled on a 20foot pole?"

"The Birth of High Fashion."

Daria shook her head in mock disgust, "More importantly, any idea why the school is burning down behind us?"

"Ms. Barch had a sub today, think she let Kevin into the chemistry room?"

"I don't think anyone could be that stupid."

Jane thinks about this for a moment. (GAH! You almost made me say it! I will never submit to corny fanfic clique gags. Especially, "Hey, this is Lawndale." AHHH!) Then suddenly, she perked up, "Hey look, Upchuck spouting out gibberish."

"I guess the poor bastich has finally snapped."

"Dear god he sounds like Cornholio."

"Who?"

Daria shuddered.

"Say, you don't suppose he did that," Jane gestured to the smoldering rubble that was once Lawndale High.

"If he did he needs a new watch, it's 12:07 PM not AM."

Andrea strolled past listening to some old Alice Cooper song on her walkman.

"Anyway, Shouldn't the Bomb Squad, or someone, be here by now."

"They're probably just waiting for the action to die down."

Upchuck laughed maniacally, then ran into the woods.

In the distance, Angela Li wept.

Wow, I'm surprised.

Now what?

You've managed to keep things moderately normal for a change. What happened to all those "demon" rumors I've been hearing about?

Who shot the hippies?

Who locked them in a zoo?

Who gagged the beatniks?

Who sealed their mouths with glue?

Who crashed the bojo's?

Who turned their work to poo?

Hey Mister Normal!

It was you!

Hey Mr. Normal!

It was you

"Shut up or I'm not singing the song. Ya, I thought so"

"uh one, two, uh one two tree fou-

This is for a girl that we all know

'specially all you guys in the shipping co.

kissed all the fools and made them cry

Now it's my turn to die

So how long do you think he'll draw this out?

Till he gets bored I guess.

Patience, for now your time has come.

It was a dark and quiet night, perfect weather if you’re a comic book character.

Luckily, the Royal Specter was. And after that insane team-up with Ratboy and that goldfish of his, she needed to clear her head, and what better way to do that then to jump from rooftop to rooftop in the chill October air?

Unfortunately, distracted in her thoughts, she mistimed her jump and was currently heading straight for the second story window of some house with a whacked out statue on the front lawn.

Hopefully there was something soft on the other side.

The Royal Specter cringed.

(scene continued in "Schizophrenia" - the lost Daria/Freakaziod manuscript)

Andrea Hecube woke up.

She got out of bed and proceeded with the daily ritual of getting ready for school.

Andrea stared at herself in the mirror as she brushed her teeth.

"I wonder if I'm actually awake right now." She mused. It was an interesting thought. The way things were going lately, this might as well be a dream world. Between her stupid job at PayDay, and the lonely journey that is High School It almost seemed like she was a supporting character in her own life, trapped in her role as only an observer.

So maybe this is a dream, and perhaps in real world she actually is some masked vigilante known as the Royal Specter. That sounded a whole lot more exiting then school.

"Right then, so how do I wake up?"

It was not a dark and stormy night, in fact it was a sunny mid-afternoon.

"Trent! What are you doing here?"

"We need to talk." He shifted nervously on the doorstep.

"um, Sure, come on in. You want a drink or something?"

"Look, I, uh, aw hell," he leaned over a kissed her, "I love you Diane."

"I love you to Trent."

They dropped behind the couch

"Ha! Later Sis."

"Get back here you Crazy Nutso!"

Stacy: Where is everybody? I thought this was going to be a Halloween party but there's no one here! Where are they? Are you sure we're at the right place? (proceeds to hyperventilate)

Sandi: Stacy, are you doubting my ability to lead? Maybe we should have put Quinn in charge of directions.

Stacy: (suddenly pirking up) OK!

Sandi: What?

Stacy: Nothing. <cough>itch.

(The mortar supporting a chandelier begins to crumble)

(Brittany walks in the door)

Brittany: Hi guys!

(The chandelier falls smashing Brittany)

Brittany: EEP!

Tiffany: Oh my god... They killed Brittany. Those...Bastards.

Quinn: Well that was quick.

Stacy: Yeah, I thought she would last a little bit longer.

Sandi: Excuse me, you two, but there is a script here.

(Suddenly lightning flashes, and the lights go out. A few seconds later the lights come back on revealing words scrawled on to the wall with what looked like red paint)

Stacy: Oh no! I hope they don't tell my parents.

Tiffany: Haven't I seen this in a movie before?

Voice: ah, I see that at least one person recognizes my keen sense of humor, even though she doesn’t realize it yet.

(The girls whirl around and see a tall, dark man standing on the landing.)

Quinn: Hey, you look like that guy in all those movies that Daria and her friend like to watch! Vinnie Prince, or Priestly, or something.

Stacy: No, I think it's that guy from school with the eyebrow ring, he just dyed his hair black like his sister.

Sandi: His sister?

Stacy: The goth chick.

Sandi: I see. My you seem to have an extensive knowledge of the social rejects at our school. I hope you aren't threatening your position by actually talking to them.

Stacy: Oh of course not, Sandi. They're just my, um, neighbors.

Guy from school with the eyebrow ring who dyed his hair black like his sister: Excuse me, but when you finish your little spat, we have things to do. For starter's, my name is Jay Gordon Hecube.

Quinn: Wow, there sure are a lot of "J"s at our school.

Jay: Well, my name used to Kyle till my dad saw the Family Values tour.

Tiffany: ooh, Harsh.

Jay: Now that the introductions are out of the way, let's take a tour of the house. Oh, and this place is haunted so at least try and pay attention.

Sandi: AWWW! It's been stained red! My new outfit is RUINED!

Jay: Well that's what you get for leaning against wet bloo- I mean paint.

Stacy: Hee hee, It looks like you've been marked for death Sandi.

(Sandi just glares at her)

Jay: And last, but not least, this is the acid pit. Apparently, the last guy who owned this house used to make his own tequila. When a batch got fermented a bit too much, he tossed it in here. Turns out he made a few mistakes in the process and the stuff had near the potency of sulfuric acid. And when his brain got a bit to fermented he tossed his wife in here. Nice guy huh?

Tiffany: uh, There's a dead body down there?

Jay: In a word, yes.

Tiffany: EEWWWWW

Sandi: I think, maybe we should go back upstairs.

(Stacy nods her head in agreement, and they all leave. That is, except fore Quinn who seemed to be getting a better look at some of the boxes that are laying around. Eventually she realizes that she's the only one left in the room.)

Quinn: Hey you guys, wait up! I don't really remember the way back!

(She wonders aimlessly through the hallways and corridors until she notices a door standing ajar. So she takes a look inside.)

Quinn: I don't think I've been in this room before. Upchuck? What are you doing here?!

A campsite, the middle of the woods, about 5 miles north:

High above there heads a new star shown in the sky.

YOU IDIOTS!!
"How are we to spread the seed if the sheep do not take what is thrown at them?!"

"Meh heh heh uhhh..."

"You said 'seed'. Huh huh"

"Ya! Heheh 'seed' heh heh"

QUIET!

"This is not a game. If the chaosmaters are to be planted, we must complete our task and introduce the pods into the masses'

"heh heh 'pod'"

"This does not include 'scoring', 'summoning the dragon', or 'playing with fireman dave'"

"Dammit, this sucks Beavis. Let's get out of here."

"uh, heheh, oh ya, heh heh"

"Ware-nig. Area look. Uh… I think this is the way out."

"All right! Let's ditch this joint!"

"Ah! It's like, stuck, or something."

"No way. Let me try."

The door suddenly swung open.

"Why is it so impossible to get decent henchmen these days?"

****

Daria was almost home, or what was left of it anyway.

Planet Earth, for the most part, has gotten to be a pretty sorry sight over the last few hundred years. A foggy, overpopulated, concrete shadow of what it had once been. But unfortunately, human nature has remained the same. She was heading to one of the few places left, visibly, undisturbed by human corruption.

The dashboard computer intoned as she entered the atmosphere. She slipped a well worn, almost ancient, album into the diskplayer. The music drifted up and around the cockpit, and the last completely natural trees came into view.

*********************************************************************

questions, comments, flames, statements of utter confusion?

CALL NOW!!

This is Free Advertising Nomad X – 10/00

Hey kids, see if you can count all the references to Pink Floyd and you could win a prize!

Say wasn't Jodie supposed to be in this fic?

Why, she must be in…the Zen Room.

(This segment is a tribute to the first fanficton I ever read, Danny Bronstein's Who Shot Principle Li. Great stuff. If you don't get the reference then you have excuse to read (or reread) it.

Daria's line is a direct rip from "the Rocky Horror Picture Show", great scene)