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"the song remains the same" a tale by NomadX

(The scene is black. A monochrome face appears on the upperhalf of the screen. A shadow is cast over his eyes. He begins to sing)

(The face fades away and the darkness is parted like a stage curtain revealing ...

-/*\/*\-

It's a long stretch of desert road. The moon is up and it's raining heavily. Thunder pounds like a bass guitar and an electric flash of lighting illuminates a large shape sitting on the centerline. It appears to be a large horny toad. But appearances can be deceiving. There is a mythic tinge in the air.

-/*\/*\-

There was a large crowd in the Zon that night. Well, larger than usual anyway. The drunken mob cheered on as the house band swung into their second number. o/The politicians in their little rooms/ fail to see the picture./ People dying in the streets /while they argue why. /They all agree to disagree /as the world collapses. /And in the burning rubble /THEY ALL WILL BLAME SOME OTHER! /o. The scrawny lead singer leaned away from the microphone and began to rip the chords out of the unwilling Fender hanging from his neck. Unfortunately, he did not notice the frayed cord fall into a puddle of spilled coke. The electric blue surge ran up the wire like an M-80's lit fuse, making contact with the musician in a matter of seconds, and blowing him backwards into the drum set.

"HEY! Watch it Man! This is a delicate instrument!"

"Shut up, Max" scolded the bass player, "I think Trent's hurt."

"-*m-"

Someone call 911!"

"TRENT!" screamed a pale thin black clad girl pushing through the panicked crowd on to the stage.

The wail of sirens was heard from outside.

-/*\/*\-

 "So what your saying," Jane paused for a moment to collect her thoughts, "is that if you could go back in time and kill the guy who thought up Mtv, then Mystic Spiral might actually have a chance at making it?"

"No no, All I mean is that if Mtv never aired back in '81 then the current music scene wouldn't be corrupted by cookiecutter beefcakes and artificial bimbos, and the struggling singer-songwriters would get the recognition they deserve."

"uh huh." Jane was unwilling to give up so easily. "But if you were given the opportunity to silence the creator of Mtv, wouldn't you take it?"

"Well, t-" -BRING BRING-

 "Ooh, saved by the bell." She picked up the phone, "Lane's Taxidermy - You snuff 'em, We Stuff 'em. What can I do you for?"

"JANE! YOU"VE GOTTA GET DOWN HERE! QUICK!"

"Monique?" Jane held her ear away from the phone, "Okay, just tell me where you are. And how much you've taken and I'll-"

"YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND! TRENT'S HURT!"

"WHAT!?!?"

"You know there are other people in this room."

"Just tell me where you are and we'll be right there." Jane scribbled the address on her arm. "Right then. I'll get there as quick as possible." She clicked off the phone and tossed it on her bed behind her as she reached for her coat; narrowly missing her friend's left ear. "Hey Daria, you got your license on you?"

"Yeah of course. Could you please tell me what the hell is going on?"

"No time. I'll fill you in on the way" yelled Jane as she headed out the door, "Come on, we'll take Trent's car."

"Are you insane? That thing will burst into flames if you breathe on it to hard!"

"Like I said, we don't have time. My brother's in the hospital."

"WHAT!?"

 -/*\/*\-

Monique and the remainder of Mystic Spiral crowded around Trent's hospital bed, searching for some sign of life on his blank face.

"Come on Trent, speak to me, man," pleaded Max for the eleventh time. No one had the heart to tell him to shut up.

Suddenly the door burst open and a red blur wedged itself between Nick and Jesse.

"HOW IS HE!?"

Monique looked morose, "He hasn't moved in hours."

"Oh, he's all right then?" asked Jane, relieved.

"The doctor said he's in a coma." Jesse said in his usual blunt fashion.

At that moment, Daria poked her in to see if the coast was clear of speeding crimson. A look of concern was on her face. "A coma?"

Monique nodded grimly, "A couple hundred volts fried his brain and hasn't woken up since."

"So now what?'

"Well the doctor said that all we can do now is wait."

-/*\/*\-

"Look, it's been two weeks now and he still hasn't woken up yet, that's odd even for Trent."

"Did you ask the doctor how long it would be until brain damage sets in?"

"I have an idea." Monique said quietly, looking a bit nervous

They all turned to her.

She took a breath, obviously uncomfortable, "I've never told anyone this before but… when I was fifteen I discovered that I was… psychic."

"You mean, your one of the those chicks who pukes up their food?" Jesse said slowly.

"No, you dumbass! She says she can read minds." Nick smacked Jesse upside the head.

"Well that explains why you and Trent were always breaking up." Jane smirked.

"He could be a bit dense at times, and no Daria, I'm not making this up."

Daria blushed, ""So, even if you are telling the truth, how could that help Trent?"

Monique sighed, "Have You ever seen the Cell?"

"You have got to be joking."

Monique gave Daria a dirty look and continued, "It was based on a true story about some homicidal maniac they caught in Nevada about seven yeas ago. Real hush-hush. I'm surprised they green-lighted the movie."

"So, what's the point of all this?" asked Max.

"The point is that all those fancy gadgets were just for show. All you really need to pull it off is someone talented enough and knows the technique."

"And you know that technique?" asked Daria, still not particularly believing any of it.

Monique ignored her. "If someone went into Trent's mind and found whatever it is trapping him inside, they may be able to pull him out of this stupor he's in. There's only one catch. I can't actually go in, I can only act as a conduit. Which means," She looked disdainfully at the band. Jesse belched. "It's up to one of you two girls."

"Ooooh no," Daria backed up, "even if you could do it, that's one land I think I want left uncharted."

"Come on Daria, You can finally discover Trent's true feelings about you."

Daria looked uncomfortable, "I don't think I want to find out."

Jane seemed intent on thinking very loudly in Monique's direction and all of the sudden looked rather surprised.

Monique smiled, "You know I may be able to send both of you. It might be smarter that way. Four eyes are better then two after all."

Daria looked mournfully at Trent's comatose body. "All right," she said quietly.

"Are you sure?"

She nodded.

"Okay," Monique motioned to two empty beds near by, "Lay down and relax. Think of this as an incredibly realistic virtual reality………….

  -/*\/*\-

 …..They were falling. Though maybe "floating downward" would be a better term, as they weren't moving very fast. There was an odd purplish glow in the space surrounding them, and in the murky half-light Daria could see icons of Trent's life drift past them; bits of clothing, old guitar picks, the duck phone…

"You know I really should have expected something like this," Daria quipped.

Jane had found a pizza box hovering around her elbow and was happily digging in.

"Down and down the rabbit hole…" Daria muttered.

"Mmphf?"

"Nothing."

 -/*\/*\-

 Then it stopped. It was quite sudden and neither was sure exactly how or when it happened. They were just suddenly lying on the floor of a large cavern lined with dozens upon dozens of metal one-gallon buckets.

"What's with all the paint?' Jane asked the world in general.

Daria let out a small groan as she eased her way up.

"You really need to get out more," Jane remarked.

"You know, I would have something very nasty to say to that if I wasn't completely disorientated right now."

"Uh huh"

They began to notice a faint melody echoing around the walls.

(Play Me)

"Hmm, well I guess we start walking."

So, for lack of a better idea, they started walking.

 -/*\/*\-

"Wow, I guess this is proof that Monique wasn't kidding." Said Daria as reality finally caught up with her.

"Uh huh." Replied Jane, eyeing the numerous paint cans.

"This isn't exactly what I thought the inside of Trent's head would look like though."

Jane shrugged, "We probably just landed in a dream. This must be an employee entrance, like they have under all the rides in Disneyland."

Daria didn't know what to say to that.

"You know what?" asked Jane, moving back to her favorite subject, "I wish there was someway I could bring some of these cans back home with me, because if there's one thing I could use, it's more paint."

"I doubt it would be of much use to you. It's probably all metaphysical and- "

They stopped. The corridor had suddenly ended and a thick red door stood in front of them.

"Great. Now what do we do?"

"Check to see if it's unlocked?" suggested Daria.

"Ooo, Good idea."

 As luck would have it, it wasn't.

"Hmmm."

Jane snapped her fingers, "Now I remember what that tune is! It's Paint it Black by the Rolling Stones."

"You don't think it's a clue, do you?"

Jane reached into her pocket, and after a bit of searching, pulled out a paintbrush. "Only one way to find out." She said with a grin.

"My aren't you the resourceful one."

After about fifteen minutes trying to locate a can of black paint among the mellow yellows and deep purples, and another ten of Jane happily inhaling fumes, it was done.

"And now the moment of truth has arrived," Daria monotoned.

"hmm, I think it could use a second coat."

"Just open it, Lane."

"Fine then, spoilsport."

She tried the knob a second time and this time it swung right open.

"All righty then, shall we proceed?"

As they turned around a bend in the path the tunnel opened up into a huge cavern holding an expansive garden and dozens of little people harvesting it's black and white roses.

"The things your brother dreams..."

"Hey, I have nothing to do with it."

"Whatever, let's see if they know anything."

"All right, you get their attention, and I'll prepare the thumbscrews."

"Remind me not to ask what else you keep in your pockets."

Eventually they got the attention of a small girl with the name 'Violet Isis' written across her shirt in Ironwood.

"So um, Violet, what are you all doing in here?" asked Daria lamely.

"Harvesting the roses of course, silly"

"yeah, of course," started Daria in an attempt to recover.

"Look," said Jane suddenly breaking in, "Have you seen anything strange going on lately?"

There was suddenly a glimmer of panic in the girls eyes.  "Beware the Lizard King , my friend. His raging armies surge the land. Destroying all that lie it his path, for his mysterious plans."

With that, the girl ran off, leaving roses scattered around the ground where she was working.

"Okaayy, THAT was definitely strange"

"Last time I let you do the talking."

"Come on, there must be some other way out of here."

-/*\/*\-

After another ten minutes of walking, the girls began to see rays of light coming from the surface. Three more and they stepped out the winding tunnels only to be confronted with a large, glistening white brick wall blocking their path. Streaked across wall in dripping crimson letters were the words: ALL HAIL THE LIZARD KING.

Jane chuckled, "Well I guess we better keep an eye out for flying crucifixes and horny plants."

Daria, who had been examining the odd blue mortar, turned to face Jane, "Flying what?"

Jane looked shocked, "Don't tell me you never- Never mind. If we get out of this, I'm sitting you in front of the VCR. Although I doubt that movie will ever be the same after this little excursion."

"I can't wait. So who do you think this 'Lizard King' is?"

"Don't know, sounds like he runs the place."

"Or at least trying to make people think he does."

"Or, he could just be an egomaniac with a paintbrush and a taste for vandalism."

"I don't know… That girl back there seemed almost afraid of him."

"Okay, a BIG egomaniac with a paintbrush and a taste for vandalism."

Daria shook her head, "Come on, we have to find a way around this."

"You don't suppose there's a giant hammer laying around here anywhere, do you?"

"Giant hammer?"

"Nevermind."

They started walking along The Wall.

"hmm, Trent hasn't completely detached himself from the rest of the world, right?"

"um, No. Why?"

Daria had a slight grin. "I may not have seen the movie, but I do own an original copy of the album."

"Yah, Vinyl lives," Jane pumped her fist half-heartedly

"Anyway, I guessing there's still going to be a few holes left that we can climb through."

"hm, Makes sense."

"like….there," Daria pointed up.

"Well, either, your right, or it could be completely ordinary neglected brickwork that has nothing to do with any metaphors of Trent's mental state."

"Wow, I'm impressed. That sound's like something I'd say."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Jane looked up at where her friend was pointing, "That looks a bit high, are you sure you can get into it?"

"Is that a challenge?"

"And now you're starting to sound like me. Wonderful"

-/*\/*\-

"So now what do we do?" Asked Jesse, not yet quite sure of what to make of things

"The same thing we've been doing, Jesse," said Monique sitting in the corner trying to concentrate. "we wait."

"This sucks!," declared Max, "We should be doing something! The Spyral are men of action! We don't just sit around while our lead singer is unconscius!"

"I think I saw a coloring book in the waiting room."

"All right!!!"

 -/*\/*\-

 The lands that laid behind the wall were… there. That's really the only way to describe them. Sorry if you were expecting something profound

Daria watched as a butterfly tried in vain to pull apart it's magnetically charged wings. "You know, Freud would have a field day in this head."

"Hey! Check out this sign that I found up ahead."

Daria looked up. Posted between two boulders and a patch of something that looked like purple tumbleweed, was a large green highway road sign.

Shortly after the sign were the beginnings of an asphalt stretch of road.

"That's extremely helpful."

"Hmm, I guess we go that way."

"That does seem kind of obvious, doesn't it?"

 Wait! Look, I think I see a cave behind those, um, giant asparagus-like things."

"Was that there before?" wondered Daria as she turned toward it.

"Dunno," muttered Jane following shortly behind.

"I wonder what's inside."

"You do realize that there could be bears or something, right?" Jane pointed out.

"Strangely, yes. I don't see you in any rush to turn around."

"Yeah that's the funny thing, it's like something is pulling me in."

"Like a trap."

"COME TO OUR AIDE CHILDS!" a strange interweaving voice (or voices) resonated.

They stood at the mouth of cave.

"Well, guess there's no turning back now."

"Why not?" asked Jane.

"I think we're about to find out." Said Daria as she stepped inside.

In the center of the dark room were three males. The first one was a dark hared man who appeared to be in his early twenties, the second looked at least forty, and the third was a bald and bearded figure well past his prime.

The Middle-Aged One began, "We three are the Sisters of Mercy…"

"Sisters?"

"Hear us out, Gel!" cried the Elder, "Though ye may be but a wisp, all our hope rests on your shoulders." "Ever since Bela died, a change has come over the land." The Youngest continued, "The one called Lizard King has taken hold of our master, and many of our more light-headed fellows have joined him either in fear of the consequences or drawn by the power he promises them." "Those still loyal are few, and no longer possess the influence required to destroy the intruder," the Middle One cut in again, "Only outsiders such as yourselves have any chance of ripping away it's grasp and freeing us of our torment."

"But how do you know we aren't as bad as this Lizard King you want us to kill?"

"Aye," cackled the Elder, "We know, haha! We know. We've had our eyes on you gels since day one!" "We Three see all that our Master sees and often more so. We have witnessed you to look out for nothing but the best for our master and he trusts you both with his life. Now is the day we put that trust to the test." Concluded the Middle One.

"Wow, way to put a girl on the spot."

"I believe we have no choice in this matter. As I have said, you two are our only hope."

"Actually, I think it was the bald guy who said that."

"Okay then, assuming that we accept your 'mission', how do we find this guy?"

"Oh, you will find him, lassie. They always do."

Suddenly a thousand laser pointers lit up the cave, ricocheting off the mirror-like obsidian walls, and forcing Daria and Jane to shield their eyes. By the time their vision cleared, the two were alone, with no sign of the Sisters ever being there.

"Why do I get the feeling that that kind of thing will be happening a lot today?"

"Do they even have days here?" Jane mused.

Daria shrugged, "Guess we'd better get on the road."

"Oh, we're off to see the Lizard..."

"Don't start, Jane."

-/*\/*\-

After five minutes of walking in the narrow canyon road, there was a break on the right face leading down into a rocky stairway whose destination was illuminated with a smoky neon glow.

"The Next Exit, I presume."

"The Machine, eh? Shall we go down?"

"We might as well, but the first sign of a giant meat grinder and I'm turning around."

-/*\/*\-

The Machine was just that, a massive conglomeration of concrete, steel, and iron work. Open pipes ran along the grated walkway and a foul smelling sludge with an odd greenish glow slowly oozed past Daria and Jane. The sky had turned into brownish grey smog from the scores of chimneys and exhaust valves spitting out the toxic fumes. Gears whirred, pistons pumped, and roar of a massive boiler echoed from beneath their feet.

"What is this place!?" Jane tried to yell without breathing.

Daria had zipped her jacket up all the way covering her lower face, "Nod zur. Lod ov gearz doe."

"That's the understatement of the year. I wonder what it's all for- Is that a pig flying over there?!"

"vwhere?"

"Over there," Jane pointed, "By those four smokestacks in the shape of a square."

"I don zee anyting."

"hm, Must have been a trick in the light. Where was I?"

"You were wonnering wehre ve are."

"oh, right. Wh-"

 There was a loud bang and sparks and ash rained down from above.

"Dammit! What is the deal with people interrupting me lately!? This is like the third time today!"

"Now you're sounding like my father, and actua-"

There was another series of blasts, this time almost knocking Daria into the handrail.

"And where is that coming from!?" Jane exclaimed.

They looked up a saw a giant chemical vat towering before them, apparently the source of the radioactive ooze. There was a bright afterglow from the vat's contents casting macabre shadows on the surrounding pipes and machinery. Standing on a catwalk spanning the sloshing brim was a thin silhouette that appeared to be throwing powder into the strange goo. Seeing as how the girls had nothing better to do and, with luck, the smog was heavier then air, they climbed up the winding metal stairway to the top.

As they got closer they could make out a man wearing heavy leather gloves that looked two sizes too big and an odd stained garment that was like a cross between a straightjacket and a lab coat. The only part of his body not covered in soot was shielded by a pair of think Steel-rimmed goggles that seemed to be riveted to his head. He was in deep concentration over the bubbling mass below him.

"HEY! YOU WITH THE COKE BOTTLES! YOU KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE!?" hollered Jane.

The man turned his head to face them and small sparks fell from his matted, unkempt hair, "0u7? \/\/|-|y w0U1d 4|\|Y0n3 \/\/^|\|7 70 L3^V3 7|-|15 |\/|^91C^L \/\/0|\|d3RL^|\|d?"

"Wonderland?" Jane repeated, not quite comprehending.

"This looks more like the place where factories go to die."

"3\/3Ry |\/|^|\| f1|\|d5 |-|15 0\/\/|\| |\|1R\/^|\|^."

"How Zen," said Daria dryly.

"Look, Mister, um, 'Insane-Person', tell us where to find a place where we can actually breath, and we'll leave to finish your pyrotechnic ooze creation in noise."

"d0 y0U 7|-|1|\|k 7|-|^7'5 R3^Lly 41R y0U'R3 6R3^71|\|9?"

"Actually, no. But what does that have to do with anything?"

"1|\|d33d," he paused in thought, "|\/|^k3 y0UR \/\/^y 7R0U9|-| 7|-|3 y0|\|d3R 7U|\||\|3Lz. 73LL 7|-|3|\/| 7|-|3 4Lc3|\/|157 53|\|7 y0U."

"Tell who?"

"7|-|3 9^URd1^|\|5 0f c0^R53. |\|0\/\/ d3|>^R7 fR0|\/| |\/|y |>R353|\|7c3, 1 |-|^\/3 |\/|Uc|-| \/\/0Rk 70 d0."

-/*\/*\-

The two girls hurried away quickly as possible, neither one wanting to hang around any longer. Eventually the winding catwalks and stairwells deadended into a large pit, hacked diagonally into a sheer rock face. An iridescent fog rose out of the darkness in a slowly wafting pattern. Clusters of copper piping and wire of all shapes and sizes gave the girls the impression of a large maintenance shaft. They stood at the mouth trying to see what they were getting themselves into.

"The tunnels," Jane mused, "sounds like a place where all the dark secrets are kept."

"Or nightmares." Daria countered.

"You realize that we do have to go down in there eventually."

"After you."

"Of course." Jane muttered.

-/*\/*\-

The tunnel was dark, but this was expected since about 80% of the places they've been so far have also been dark. It also stank, but that was also expected since the rest of the infernal machine did too. For that matter, what self-respecting sewer system doesn't reek of poo gas? Most importantly though, the tunnel was strangely foreboding. There was a certain eerie quality to the subtle light effects reflecting off the rusty pipe work and the occasional exposed wiring; the murky ankle deep water had a definite ominousness to it. Plus, Daria and Jane were relatively sure that most underground systems didn't include large oaken doors with dark iron-barred windows and large rusty padlocks lining the walls.

"This better be the only way we can go," Daria mumbled.

"Why?"

"Because I would be severely pissed if I had to trudge through here for no reason."

"Aw, I think this place has a certain charm to it."

"Didn't you say the same thing about Cujo?"

"Yes, but how could you not love that adorable Saint Bernard?"

As she spoke, a quintet of confused looking Englishmen in tight pants came out from around the corridor and walked up to the girls.

"'Scuse us, Miss, but do you know where the door to the stage is?

"Sure!" Jane piped up, "Just go back the way you came and make a left at the first floating body."

"Right then, thanks Luv."

"Dammit! I told you we should have turned back there!"

"Oh put a sock in it, Nigel."

"ROCK AND ROLL!!!"

Daria watched as the four wandered off again. "You have no idea were the stage door is"

"Yah, but they don't know that." Jane grinned mischievously.

Daria just shook her head. "As I was saying…"

"Look, I hate to interrupt, but you might want to look behind you."

Daria turned to see hundreds of red glowing eyes staring down at her from the gloom. In the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a pale scaly shape slide into the murky water.

"Well, I'm glad to see that Trent actually read that Urban Legends book I got him for Christmas."

"Yah, I'm sure you're thrilled. You know, you'd think I'd be running by now."

"It wouldn't do you any good. Those things may look clunky, but they're amazingly fast when they want to be."

"Thank you, Daria, for that much needed glimmer of hope." She frantically searched for a possible way out, "Hey look! Someone sprung the lock on that door over there."

"I don't know if we can make it…"

"You don't have a choice in the matter, come on!" Jane grabbed Daria's arm and the two sprinted towards the unlocked door with the gators splashing close behind. At the last minute, Daria dived in after Jane and the shoved the door closed in front of the snapping lizards.

"It's full of BOXES! Thanks a lot, Jane you've just trapped us in a storeroom with who knows how many hungry alligators waiting outside the only exit."

"Boxes of Hostess Fruit Pies you mean. Come on, follow my lead."

"Now what, oh fearless leader?" asked Daria with dripping sarcasm.

Jane shoved as many of the pies into her pockets as could, then put another box on her shoulder. "Boy, I can tell you don't read comics."

-/*\/*\-

The band watched the girls move in their "sleep". Daria looked like she was on some sort of horizontal treadmill, while Jane was trashing her head around desperately and jerking her arms.

"You know, someone should be taping this," Suggested Max, "It would look great on the video."

"Um, we don't have a video," Pointed out Nick.

"And we won't if you keep that mentality!" burst out Max, "The Spiral is about grabbing the future and not letting go! Take no Prisoners! Carpe Gonads!"

"Look guys," broke in Monique, "I'm trying to concentrate here, could you keep it down!?"

"I'm hungry," stated Jesse, "I'm gunna go get something to eat."

-/*\/*\-

"You are insane."

"Oh, come on, it worked didn't it?"

"I have never seen a fully grown alligator roll on it's back and lick it's chops!"

"Geez, talk about culturally deprived."

"You don't talk right now."

"Hey, if it wasn't for me, you would have been eaten back there."

"If it wasn't for you, I'd be in my room reading right now!"

"Man, aren't you glad I'm here?"

"What did I say about not talking?"

"You know, I've never seen you so worked up about something before."

"Almost dying does that a person."

"Wait a second," Jane sniffed the air, "Do you smell that?"

Daria followed suit. "No…" she replied testily.

"Exactly. Come on, I think we're almost out of this mess."

"Well it's abo-" Then she stopped. A bright orange neon sign had flared up on the wall in front of her reading:

< QUICKLY GIRL! THE LIZARD'S INFLUENCE GROWS COMPLETE >

"Even the walls are getting pushy today" muttered Daria slightly stunned.

"Hey, I guess what I found up here!" called back Jane, who was already around the corner.

"a neon sign?"

"No, it's wooden, why?"

"Nothing important."

"Well hurry up, I'm killing myself for not bringing along my camera."

"Need any help?"

"Just let it go Daria."

As Daria came around the bend, she could see Jane standing in front a wooden sign madly sketching onto a small memo pad magically produced from the depths of her pocket.

"Ooh, looks like more fun from the mysterious interior of Jane's pants."

"That was wrong on so many levels it's not even funny."

Daria got a glimpse of the signpost. She couldn't shake the feeling that that wooden joker was leering at her.

"Well, that looks lovely."

"Really, I can't wait to see what the actual place looks like."

"Looks like you'll get your chance soon enough."

-/*\/*\-

The smell of dirty popcorn and sawdust hung in the chilly air as they emerged from the stagnant hole.

"Looks like the carnival's in town."

"Wasn't that one of the places on that road sign back there?" remarked Jane.

"Yeah, spelled with a 'K'. Think that was intentional?"

"Well, my brother never won any spelling bees, that's for sure."

"So, does this meet your expectations?"

Jane scanned the spotted fairgrounds with dozens of stripped circus tents of faded yellows, red, oranges, and purples. "Hmm, not sure till I see what's inside. Let's find the sideshow."

"Think they'll be any geeks?"

"You have the weirdest fetishes, Daria."

-/*\/*\-

"Ooh, it's the head of Pope John XII."

"Who's he?" asked Jane.

"A disgrace to Catholicism. Is that the Fiji mermaid?"

"I think so. I wonder what all this is supposed to symbolize."

"Huh?"

"Well we are in someone's head, right? Well aren't dreams supposed to mean things?

"According to Freud, 'things' mostly would include sex."

"The pickled head of a dead religious leader is supposed to represent Trent's animal lusts?"

"Hey, I didn't say he was right."

"ick. New topic?"

"Name it."

"Want to go watch the fighting cocks in the next tent?"

"I wonder what that's supposed to represent," Daria smirked.

"Come on let's go inside."

-/*\/*\-

"Hey, look under the glass!"

"It's a single blade of grass."

"The sign says 'be careful as you pass'."

"I wonder why."

"Moving on."

Daria lifted the flap of the large sideshow tent, and the girls stepped inside.

-/*\/*\-

"It's a doll." Daria said flatly.

"A doll enchained, no less," commented Jane, noting the iron links hanging from the murky ceiling and enwrapping everything like a choking ivy.

"But why would a rag doll be so tightly bound?"

* Surely, by now you must have realized that not all is what it seems. *

"That's only a matter of perspective." Daria shot out reactively.

Then she stopped. The two looked around the room. Nothing appeared to have changed.

"um….right."

"I think we may have wondered into another metaphor," Jane whispered.

* Metaphor? Why do you speak so softly to each other? *

They looked harder at the stuffed figure in the focus of the room. Still nothing seemed to have changed.

"Jane, this is beginning to scare me."

"Right."

They backed into a large hall bathed in a deep blue light that cast distorted shadows on the walls.

"This doesn't look like the way we came in."

"It has to be, Jane. There was only one door."

The girls stood on the narrow walk running down the center of the room and stared at the numerous statues crowding the spaces on the other side of the rotting red velvet rope.

"Wow," she said, momentarily forgetting the skewed entryway, "It's like some sort of old wax museum in here."

Suddenly, the mannequins came to life in a pandemonium of sound and jerking motions.

"Wow, these figures look almost real," Jane chuckled, "I wonder how they're made. Can you see any hinges in the mouths?"

Silence

"Daria?"

Then Jane glanced back at her friend. Daria stood rigid, like a deer caught in headlights, staring at the large dark statue at the end of the path in front of them. "oh, no."

"What is this that stands before me?" She intoned.

"Now don't you start."

"Figure in Black that points at meee. Turn round quick and start to run."

Jane buried her face in her hands. "Oh, please god help me"

"I Doubt he would be of much use to you in this land, but there is no harm in trying," said a voice from behind them, "Are you enjoying my carnival?"

Jane whirled around to find the tall figure was behind them now, and quite animated. He had long dark mangy hair, a hawk-like face, and black greasepaint tears streamed from his eyes. He wore a dusty top hat, and his ragged undertaker's coat flailed in the wind behind him.

It made for a rather dramatic image.

"And just who might you be?" asked Daria, coming out of her trance.

The figure seamed deflated, but just for a glimmer of a second. "Why, I am the Showman!" he declared, twirling his ebony cane from hand to hand, "Master of Illusion! Shower of Dreams! I am the ringleader of the Circus Insidious and the Grand Director of the Theater of the Real." At this he flung his cane into the air, light glinting off it's silver tip. Smoke began to pour out from his billowing coat, and soon a thick fog surrounded the three of them, obscuring all senses.

"Where the hell did everything go!?" yelled Jane, trying not to choke on the thick air.

"I'm not sure!" Daria yelled back. "Where are you?"

"To your right, I think"

Daria reached out into the mist trying to locate her friend.

"Watch those hands girl! We're not THAT close yet."

"um, sorry."

Suddenly they could make out the silhouette of a large snake towering over their heads.

Then it struck.

-/*\/*\-

They awoke on a flat mesa under a vast purple sky blanketed with millions of tiny pricks of starlight.

"You know, I'm really getting sick of this," Jane remarked.

"Eh?"

"All of this suddenly blacking out and then waking up in yet another strange alien locale."

"I would think that the artist in you would love something like this."

"Yah, that may be, but the normal human in me is as confused as hell."

"Ah hah! So you do admit to being a normal human!"

"Please stop Daria. This reversal of roles is hurting my head."

Daria shrugged and walked up to the edge of the cliff. As she expected, it was a very striking scene. It seemed this place was full of them. The drop opened up into an expansive valley sandwiched between two hills. On each hill a massive bonfire roared, surrounded by tents, vehicles, and scores of men milling around like ants. Daria thought she could hear a bell toll in the distance.

"It looks like they're preparing for battle, " said Jane, who had wandered up behind her.

"For what, I wonder."

"Who knows," Jane shivered. "I wish I brought something a little heavier to wear on this Magical Mystery Tour."

"Magical Mystic Spiral Tour" Daria corrected with a slight grin.

"This is no time for bad puns." Jane replied, a bit peeved. Then she realized what just happened, "We're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"In Lawndale, you would have never made a stupid joke like that."

"Well technically, we still are in Lawndale."

"You know what I mean. The point is that we are both acting very strangely."

"Well, looking at the circumstances, that's understandable."

"But that doesn't mean I have to like it."

There was a rustling in the bushes behind them, and as they turned around a six-foot tall, upright walking warthog in full mail came trotting out.

"Ah hah!" It squealed. "I knew I saw someone lurking around up here! Spies of the Icebox Queen, no doubt. You had best be coming with me."

 Jane looked dumbfounded.

"Come on," said Daria, motioning to Jane, "Maybe, we'll get a better idea about what's going on."

-/*\/*\-

Up close, the encampment looked much like it did from the cliff except that it was dirtier and smelled like something had rolled over and died, then rose from the grave and picked a fight with a skunk.

"This place is a pig sty."

"Thank you Jane, for that incredibly observant remark."

Their captor only grunted.

The camp had an air of anticipation as numerous swine hurried from one place to another carrying all manner of equipment, while others were performing menial tasks like cleaning out weapons or sharpening blades, or doing drills and training exercises.

"So what are you 'guys' up against?"  asked Jane, trying to start up a conversation.

"Like you really need to ask, Little Miss Sneaky Spy."

"That sounded disturbingly familiar," muttered Daria.

"They do bear a certain family resemblance, don't they?" agreed Jane. She turned her attention back to the lumbering hog.

"Look, you surprised us so much when you jumped out, that you gave us amnesia. So who am I allegedly spying for?"

The warthog's mouth puckered up as much as a warthog's mouth can pucker up, and he had a look of deep concentration.

"Methinks you should have stopped at 'you'." Commented Daria.

The soldier made a sputtering noise and pointed at the entrance to one of the smaller tents near by. "You two, Go in there!"

"What, without proper military escort?"

"Well. I guess you’re the boss, Wilber."

The two ducked into the dark tent to find when appeared to be a planning session of the company commanders, which basically seemed to consist of a bunch of old-looking hogs with lots of metals pinned to their uniforms arguing with each other as they moved little lead figures around on the parchment chart spread of out on the table in the middle of them.

Jane whispered to Daria, "Would you say that those guys look like 'witches at black masses' to you?"

"No, not really. I think they're playing Ultimate Stratego ™."

(Available now at a retailer near you. Makes a great gift!)

A spotted hog on the right shot his head up, apparently hearing Daria's remark. "Who goes there?" it said in a thick British accent. It's beady eyes squinting in the darkness in search of the sound's source.

"The Icebox Queen?"

Daria gave Jane a dirty look.

"Hey, you're the one who originally wanted to find out what was going on," she retorted.

The pigs looked triumphant. "Aaha! Caught you at last, we have! Toni! Oz! Be good lads and throw her in the dungeon."

Daria started to protest as to previously unseen guards emerged from the shadows on the far wall and preceded to menacingly approach her and Jane. Then the brighter of the guards made a startling observation.

"Ur, Colonel. There's, um, two of them."

"Well then, take them both away Sergeant. The other one is obviously a handmaiden of some sort."

"Now you wait one seco-" Daria wasn't able to finish as the two burly hogs grabbed the girls and dragged them of to the dungeon.

-/*\/*\-

"Oh no," Monique mumbled, breaking the uneasy silence in the hospital room.

Whu?" asked Jesse in mid-drumstick.

"They really should have been back by now, I don't know what's taking so long."

"Is something wrong?"

"The longer you stay in someone's head the harder it is to get back again. They could be trapped in there forever!"

"That's bad, right?"

Nick hit Max a second time.

-/*\/*\-

 "Now what kind of Military encampment has a conveniently-placed dark foreboding tower and uses it for a jail? That's just stupid! They could have all their troops in here protected from whoever tries to attack!"

Their escort hit Jane again with his truncheon "I tol' you to shud up."

"It's not my fault that your high command are a bunch of idiots. I mean look, they even have a sheer cliff face to the south with a treacherous waterfall cascading down forming a handy moa- OW! Stop that!"

"I said shyud up."

They passed row upon row of cells, many of them empty. The few that were occupied contained all sorts of belligerent looking creatures, most obviously not human. In one, Daria thought she could make out the shape of a large figure. From a certain angle it almost seemed like light was glinting off his skin. In a far cell, she could have sworn she saw the crumpled figure of the Showman staring off into nothing. There was little sign of any members of the hypothetical Icebox Queen's Army and frankly the two girls were beginning to doubt that it even existed, it merely being an excuse to keep on fighting.

They were finally thrown into a cell on the right-hand side of the corridor sandwiched between two dwarfs and the aforementioned large figure, still mostly hidden in the shadows.

"Hey! We get a window seat!"

"Wonderful," groaned Daria.

"So you're part of the Ice Queen's operation?" one of the Dwarfs asked once the pigs had left.

"Actually no," admitted Daria, "We don't even know who she is."

"A pity," said the dwarf, and he resumed whatever he was doing before. His associate chuckled.

"That was dumb," said Jane after awhile, "We could have pumped him for information."

"I have a feeling that it wouldn't have done much good." Daria tossed a pebble out the tiny window and watched as it slowly fell down into the rushing falls below.

"Yeah, but it would have given us something to do. How long do they plan on keeping us here?"

"Till Hell freezes over?"

"Save the Eagles albums for another time, funny girl. Being locked up is no laughing matter."

"When was the last time you saw me laugh? Anyway, I was being serious. Rock and Roll seems to be a dominant force here."

"Well we are messing around in the mind of a musician. However lacking in talent he may be. But how could that help us here?"

"I'm not quite sure."

In the cell across from them, a fairy clad in black leather leaned back in his cell with his boots resting on thin air. The glinting giant in the shadows shifted his weight and there was a creaking sound of rusted metal. The dwarfs in the next cell over howled in laughter at some private joke. And in dreamtime, the blazing spiral sun began to set.

-/*\/*\-

"This isn't right," said Monique all of the sudden, looking more worried then ever.

"So where's the problem now?" wondered Nick.

"It's Daria and Jane, their minds… I'm losing focus on them. It's like the boundaries between them are melting, they're merging somehow," Monique's words flowed out like she was in a daze, which technically she was, "I knew I shouldn't have listened to Jane, and sent them both at once…"

"Can't you just bring them back?" asked Jesse.

"I would if I could, but they're not prepared for the transition, it could seriously scar their minds," she said, seeming to regain a little control.

"So I guess we just sit here and wait some more, huh?" grumbled Nick, "It's like our only part in all this is to create a sense of urgency to the situation."

"This sucks!"

-/*\/*\-

The sun rose over the alien land, shining light on the incarcerated people of the tower.

"That seemed awfully quick," said Daria.

"Ya think?" said Jane, blinking, "My eyes barely had time to adjust to the dark."

The dwarf yawned in the next cell, "Sleep well, Herb?"

"Aye," said the other dwarf yawning.

"This is getting Ridiculous! Could someone please explain to me what is going on in here!?" exclaimed Jane, throwing up her hands.

"What's to explain? It wouldn't change our situation any," muttered Daria, still staring out the window.

 "Still..."

There was a rush of movement in the shadowy cell and the glinting shape unfolded into a 7-foot tall iron plated goliath. The girls stared, frozen in their place.

"Keep your mouth shut, Jane."

"What!? I didn't even say anything!"

"Not yet."

"ENOUGH"

The glinting giant smacked a sledgehammer fist into the wall reducing it to dust.

 "GO!" rasped the Metallic voice, "YOUR KIND DO NOT BELONG HERE."

"Well, no arguing with that." Jane grabbed her friend's arm and, before she had a chance to protest, lunged threw the newly made door and into the misty fog below.

-/*\/*\-

The roar of the falls filled Daria's ears, and her glasses (which were amazingly still on her face) were covered in little beadlets of moisture obscuring her vision.

"Seems more like a bad acid trip if you ask me."

"Trust me, I'm not planning to."

"I appreciate your concern but it's a bit to late to worry about that now."

"Who are you talking to?" Jane shouted out over the roar.

-/*\/*\-

They could feel the spray hit their faces, and prepared for impact. Vivid colors flashed before their eyes. 'It is said,' Daria mused, 'That if you die in a dream, you die in real life as well.' Bright white faded to red and then purple and grey, and soon it was black once more…

-/*\/*\-

"Well, this is interesting." declared Daria, "Where the hell did all the water go?"

"Whuh?" This time it was Jane's turn to groggily pull herself off the ground.

"Look at this. We're in some sort of desert now! Didn't we just drop down a waterfall?!"

Jane looked blearily at the Sahara-isc surroundings as she shook the sand out of her hair. "Maybe it just kept on falling," she suggested, gesturing at the loose ground at her feet.

"For some reason that makes perfect sense. Come on let's see if we can find it. All of the sudden I feel incredibly thirsty."

As they continued to walk, the landscape gradually began to change. Instead of miles of endless sand stretching on past the horizon, they began to see buildings scattered here and there. Cottages, townhouses, even a skyscraper or two. When Jane got curious enough to investigate, she discovered something rather surprising.

"They're all fake!"

"There you go ranting again. What is it now?"

"Look at this, Daria. They're all fronts! Plywood stand-ups, like on the set of one of those Hollywood westerns."

"You mean Blazing Saddles?"

"But why would someone bother to set all this up in the middle of some lifeless desert?"

"No one HAD to bother, remember? We're still inside your brother's head. This is all some sort of surreal dream of his."

"So then where are all the naked models?"

"Hell if I know. I stopped trying to make sense of it all back at the tunnels." Daria shrugged.

In the distance, the fake buildings began to group together forming what looked like a giant diorama of the Main Street of thousands of Wild West towns. Except that it wasn't the Wild West. Sure, sand was everywhere, but it was loose and powdery, not the sun-dried cracked ground of Arizona and the Four Corners. Plus, the buildings' styles were all wrong, If you ignored all the sand it almost looked like…..

"Why look!" cried Jane, "It's Abby Road, perfectly reproduced within Trent's head."

"I don't know… Is the asphalt usually burning like that?"

They stared at the white parallel lines etching a trail in the blaze.

"This is own of those Leap of Faith things, isn't it?"

"Let's hope so." said Daria as she started towards the edge.

Jane shrugged, "When in hell. Lead on Indiana Morgandorfer."

Daria stopped short; "We should probably do this right if we don't want to get our asses burned off." She stooped down to untie her boots.

"You do realize what you're doing?"

"T think I'm finally getting the hang of this place. Anyway just remember that this all just a dream. A very vivid dream."

"Ya know, I think I've read some where," mused Jane, "That if you die in a dream, you die in real life too."

It was too late, Daria was all ready lost in the flames.

"Aw, hell."

She closed her eyes and stepped off.

Flames danced around their vision and skewered their perspective. Images flashed across the blaze beckoning them further into the inferno. But the girls stayed on the path never wavering. Their eyes never leaving the small point on the edge of the horizon where the crosswalk ends, ignoring the evil imps trying to draw them astray.

And then they stepped out on to the other side. It looked much the same as the one they left, except that flats were gone. Instead, one solitary building stood in front of them.

"The Zön. Why am I not surprised to find this here?"

"It's Trent's home away from bed. Shall we go in?"

"Yes, anything to get this sand out of my boots."

-/*\/*\-

"I'm giving them 30 more minutes then I'm pulling them out. I hope I haven't caused any serious damage already."

"I'm sure they do too."

-/*\/*\-

"Man, someone really over did it with the fog machine," Daria coughed.

"Um," Jane sniffed the air, "I don't think that's fog"

Daria figured it best to leave it at that.

A pounding backbeat came hidden speakers. They scanned the murky interior and found that the zön hadn't changed much. It just seemed like every single lightbulb was burning out, but there weren't enough punks to change them. When the girls actually got a good look at the bar's patrons, they weren't entirely sure whether or not to be surprised that they weren't exactly human. The creatures were a multitude of vibrant oranges, greens, yellows and blues, with thin skeletal bodies, oversized heads and large gaping mouths, and all sorts of different combinations of bloodshot eyes, horns, and teeth. The only human the girls could see was the bartender, but even that wasn't certain. When he caught sight of them, there was a menacing glint in his eye, and he leapt onto the bar counter, his ratty dreadlocks flailing.

"HaHaHaah! Why look boys! The Phantom Stranger has finally showed his faces! Let's show him the ZonbieFink's warm hospitality! yeah?!"

The creatures began to chitter and cackle in excitement, while Daria and Jane looked increasingly nervous.

"You know, Daria, I think now would be a good time to leave."

A rat sitting at a far table suddenly jumped to his feet and howled "Let's get 'em!"

Daria and Jane burst out of the building at a full run, soon followed by the bizarre denizens of the Zon. The sky had fallen into night and the shifting sands had been replaced with a flat asphalt river. The majority of the freaks jumped into the distorted and chopped down hotrods now lined up in the front of the building like a hitching post in front of the old saloons.

"Is it just me, or are those stick shifts waaay to long?"

"We're being chased by demented cartoon demons in funnycars all howling for our blood and you're worried about auto parts?!"

"Sorry, but someone had to say it."

"Your right. Damn that rapid flowing narrative style of his."

"Oh well, what can you do?"

Against all logic, the girls could still hear the pulse pounding bassline as they ran. The beat seemingly following them as fast as the ZonbieFink's creatures.

"GO! GO! GO! G-ooh!" Jane's eye's lit up.

Leaning up against a perfectly out of place gaslight was chrome-plated Harley-Davidson. Jane jumped on without hesitation.

"Come on Daria!"

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Do you actually expect to out run those things?"

Daria quickly slid onto the back of the bike behind Jane. "Point taken."

Jane revved the engine and they quickly accelerated. Daria suddenly realized that they were no longer touching the ground. On a tower in the distance she could see Hell's angel flap it's wings.

-/*\/*\-

Around three minutes later, they were riding on a lonely desert road in the middle of a thunderstorm. If it weren't for the swirling purple sky, Daria would guess that they were in the middle of the Painted Desert. As usual, neither girl knew exactly how they got there.

"Great. Away with the acid and moving on to peyote," quipped Jane, breaking the bike, "I wish I had my easel with me."

They both quickly turned around to face a giant creature with a distinct resemblance to a horny toad on steroids.

"DAMMIT! Why does everyone keep popping up behind us?! That is so rude!"

"The Lizard King I presume?" said Daria, getting straight to the point.

It's beady eyes glowed yellow, and a rusty stench hung in the air.

"I know you're true name, Jim Morrison"

(Author's Note: Okay, how many of you didn't see that coming?)

The beast showed a flash of amusement. That sorry old vessel? Really now. Morrison has long ceased serving any purpose to me. However, you are welcome to try again.

"Hmm that always seemed to work in the Lands of Faere."

"Since, when were you in the Fairyland!?"

"You know, Daria, I did have a life before you showed up."

"oh right, you're trying to steal my brother's soul, or something."

"Any particular reason?"

"Yeah, I was wondering about that."

"um, Are we talking about the same Trent here?" Jane asked.

"Just checking."

"You still haven't told us who you are,"

"Right, now that That's been covered, could you tell us how to get rid off you."

Jane shrugged, "works in Loony Tunes."

"The loss of his free will?" Jane said dryly.

"Didn't all those people you mentioned eventually destroy themselves in a haze of drugs and alcohol?" Daria pointed out.

"And you wanted to put my brother though that!" Jane almost screamed.

"You know, I am getting a strong feeling that you have never actually met Trent."

"Oh crap." Daria smacked her forehead, "I think you meant to get Jesse."

"You know, big guy, has a thing for leather."

"I''m sure they will"

The creature faded from view and there was a shimmering wave over the landscape as it's influence was gone.

Jane looked at Daria "I think our work here is done."

Daria nodded in agreement and pressed her temple, "Monique, Mission accomplished, bring us home."

There was a blinding flash of light and

-/*\/*\-

They were back in the hospital room.

"Are you two alright?" Nick asked, "Monique thought she had lost you for a while there."

"Oh, she did, did she?"

Monique looked sheepish but was saved from a response by a stirring from Trent's bed.

"wWwhere am I?"

"In the hospital Trent, your guitar gave you a nasty shock." Monique said soothingly.

"Sometimes I think that thing is out to get me." Trent tried to chuckle but failed miserably.

"I think maybe you need to get some more rest."

"Hmm, that may be a good idea."

Once Trent was safely back in Dreamland, Monique hugged the girls, "Thank you for saving Trent."

"um, It was the least we could do," said Daria, obviously uncomfortable with the situation, "After all, he does give us rides and stuff."

"Either way, if it wasn’t for you to Trent would still be a vegetable right now."

Daria looked at Trent doubtfully.

"Yes girls, Thank you," intoned Jesse. A strange look was in his eye.

"But what I don't get," said Jane, "is what a faulty cable had to do with any of this."

"Maybe the creature was just waiting for Trent to let his guard down." Daria suggested.

"Maybe the guitar was possessed!" blurted out Max.

"Or maybe, the 'Spirit of rock n' roll' tried to take over his mind and use him for his own twisted agenda!" Nick couldn't contain himself and doubled over laughing.

The rest of the group looked at each other. Daria and Jane shifted uneasily.

"Um, that's not very funny."

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